Have you experienced the sting of being laughed at, but not with someone?

Have you ever heard others laughing "at you" and not "with you"? I think we all have had that painful experience and I was reminded of one such moment this week...
Here's that story: Right before I decided to start my business, I pulled in at a garage sale with toys to see what fun treasures I could find for my four year old and one year old. I saw something right away and knew that I wanted to purchase the plastic bowling pins for our long hallway. I could already see my kids having fun with this set! The bright primary colors were pulling me in and I looked at the price tag and realized I was a little short on cash. At this point in time, there was no venmo or cash app, etc and I didn't want to waste gas driving to my bank for a couple extra dollars. As a stay at home mom, my salary was zero, even though my responsibilities were 24/7. As a natural problem solver, I realized I had a book of stamps in my wallet and asked the two friends if they would be open to accepting my $8.40 new book of stamps since I was short on cash in my wallet. As I recall, the bowling set was $8.00 so they would receive a little extra with my book of stamps. They said "yes", but then snickered and laughed when they thought I was out of reach on the way to my car. I could hear them giggling and saying something about stamps.
For a moment, I felt the sting of shame that they were laughing at me and not with me. I didn't let that moment sit for long though because I knew I was going to have so much fun bowling with my kids in our long front hallway.
That sting that I felt was part of what propelled me to look into a business where I could make an income and also continue to spend time with my kids as much as I wanted. So...I guess in the end, I'm grateful that this happened, even though those two women could have been a lot kinder in that moment.
Here is what I know: A stay at home mom works tirelessly and will do anything she can for her kids. Her value is not measured by a paycheck, but instead, by the endless hours of playtime, reading stories, managing sibling fights, planning the fun and the chores and doing her best to keep everyone fed and healthy. Some days it is pajamas until noon and waffles for dinner, but it all works. It can be exhausting some days and so fulfilling on others. My original mission in seeking out that bowling set all those years ago was to pour into my kids and that is still what drives me today. Back then, there were not as many options for work I could do from home, but somehow, I found the best fit for me. If any part of this story resonates with you and you have a deep desire to stay home with your kids and also earn income so that you can do special things with your family or cover the groceries, trips and expenses, I would be happy to answer your questions. What started as my part time work during naptimes, has become my full time work that I adore. Comment: "interested" if you would like to hear about our June offer or send me a private message if that's more your style.
Being part of a community of women who are positive, encouraging, uplifting and who only laugh WITH YOU .... is everything!

How to work with our Lizard Brain

Did you know this? You may have heard the concept that our amygdala or lizard brain works hard to keep us "safe". I learned this concept deeply in Coaching School and here is what hit me with this idea today that I want to share with each of you because it is important: Our amygdala has a job of keeping us SAFE which means: staying the SAME. Therefore, when we step out on a limb and consider trying something new, our lizard brain will perceive that as a threat and yell "DANGER" and try to stop us from doing that "new" thing even if there is no real danger involved. Example - when we want to try something new such as: * going to a networking group and introducing ourselves in a 60 second 'commercial' in front of the group or * going live on social media or * being vulnerable about our fear of _________ or * holding a first in our business (first reach out to a potential team member, first message to a possible customer, first time to do an in person vendor event or spa experience, etc) Any of these FIRSTS can 'feel' like danger to our amygdala. So - It is super important to let our brain know: "It is ok for me to try something new. Thank you for showing up with all the alarms to make sure I am safe, but you (name your amagydala!) can go take a nap. I am safe. I am okay. I am going to try something new and I am safe. You can stand down." You will be AMAZED with the difference in telling your brain that you are SAFE and that it is ok to do something new. (I learned this technique of talking to our lizard brain and telling it to go take a nap from a Psychologist who coaches high performing kids before high stakes SAT or GRE tests and teaches them techniques to feel safe and calm. This psychologist nicknamed his amagydala "Andy" and he tells Andy that it is ok to stand down and take a nap) What happens when we tell our amygdala to stand down? Well...it slows down and quiets our lizard brain from yelling thoughts that are designed to keep us in the same place without growth because that is "safe" for our amygdala. The types of thoughts that we share with ourselves will vary, but here are a few common ones that our lizard brains will offer: You've never done this. You might fail. Who are you to try xyz? It isn't the right time. Don't do it. It could go horribly wrong. You don't have enough time. You need to research this for weeks before starting. You don't know what you are doing. What will others think? Instead, we can gently tell ourselves: I am safe. I am simply trying something new and this will help me grow. I want to do this new thing in order to ____. It is good for me to stretch, grow and try new things. I won't be perfect the first time I try something and that is ok and I am willing to do it again and again to grow and improve. Thoughts? Is this helpful? This was a game changer for me when I learned this and I hope it is helpful for at least one person.

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